I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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