think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
