why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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