sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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