wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
