all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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