Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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