Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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