Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
