I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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