She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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