You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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