THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
MIDGETS
????
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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