i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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