omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
