Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
