We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
