the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize