I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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