Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
