I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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