PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
