He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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