Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize