sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
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Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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