Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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