Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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