Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
