you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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