You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
