I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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