wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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