My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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