it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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