Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
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When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Houston, we have a blender
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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