yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
