just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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