PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
