It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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