just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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