just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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