I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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