yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
