He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
