i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i've created a new STD.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
