It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
