does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize