So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
