So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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