he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
