very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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