I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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