Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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