You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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