I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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