I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Im part way to drunk.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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