Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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