just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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