I forgot how hot balto sounded
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize