i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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